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What Am I supposed to do?


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Over the course of one lifetime, many of us may find ourselves asking the question ‘what am I supposed to do?’ This question can arise at any stage of life, from our earliest moments, to our final moments, or those of a loved one, as they or we might wonder, ‘what’s next?’ We may find ourselves asking this question in different ways throughout our lives; ‘what is the right thing to do?’ or ‘what should I have done? This question is so fundamental to the human condition, that it is often explored through the medium of culture, addressed by poets, writers, and story-tellers, who seek to present answers to this question. This question can also often arise in the psychotherapy room, in consideration of crossroads, choices, or challenges faced. Arguably, there is no definitive answer to this great question. However, the question’s boundless and subjective nature has not stopped countless philosophers from asking it for centuries.


Rooted in Philosophy

To contextualise the philosophical history of this question, beginning with Plato, Plato’s ‘Defence of Socrates’ in 399 BC details the trial of Socrates, held in front of 500 jurors (Gallop, 1997). The dramatisation opens with Socrates proclaiming “I don’t know how you, fellow Athenians, have been affected by my accusers, but for my part I felt myself almost transported by them, so persuasively did they speak. And yet, hardly a word is true.” (Plato, 1997, p.27). This opening statement captures the essence of a theme that is intrinsic to the question ‘what am I supposed to do.’ That is, that rarely is there one answer to this question, and our answer can often be influenced by events around us.


While Plato subsequently looked to philosophy in the hope of improvement of the human condition (Gallop, 1997), Eastern Philosophy in the 5th Century was exploring this question through the lens of the connection between our internal and external world (Coward, 1996; Kirkland, 2004). Taoism is one such philosophy (Coward, 1996), which teaches ‘The Way’ (Tzu, L, n.d.), namely the peace gained through ‘flow’ rather than resistance (Tzu, L, n.d.). The character Winnie the Pooh encapsulates this Taoist philosophy well, through the medium of story-telling and characterisation (Hoff, 2012); “Just how do you do it, Pooh?” “Do what?” asked Pooh. “Become so Effortless.” I don’t do much of anything.” (Hoff, 2012, p.69). Similarly, Buddhism teaches us about freedom from suffering, gained through acceptance of inevitable pain (Brennan, 2018). In essence, these philosophies suggest that being is more effective than doing, in pursuit of answers.


Throughout the centuries, other philosophers have arguably in their own pursuits considered this question. Descartes, for example, believed in the pursuit of thought and reason (Wertz, 1998), while Kant articulated the tension between nature and instinct, and moral law (Guyer, 2006). Existential Philosophy in particular addresses questions surrounding our existence, demonstrated by Kierkegaard, who suggests that the ‘right thing’ to do is often determined by circumstance; the person who stands at a crossroads with no choice but to choose, will choose the ‘right’ thing, a decision that may not be apparent if there were many choices available (Kierkegaard & Kierkegaard, 2013). Kierkegaard also articulates the effect of group dynamics on the individual, suggesting that the influence of the crowd can disempower the individual, while similarly, the individual can be more courageous than the crowd (Kaufman, 1989). This is an interesting thought, if one were to consider Socrates, and his jury of 500.


Represented through culture

The question ‘what am I supposed to do?’ is so intrinsic to the human condition, as has been demonstrated by this brief review of the history of philosophical discourse, that it has often been represented through the medium of poetry, and writing. In pursuit of satisfying our desire to address this question, we can find ourselves ‘doing’ a lot. This ‘doing’ can often be symptomatic of hopelessness, or anxiety. For example, in his book, A.A. Gill (2015) suggests that the ‘doing’ of addiction is in the work of staying addicted, perhaps more so than maintaining sobriety. Viktor Frankl (2004) relays his experience in a concentration camp, but also presents an idea that there is the void that one can feel when one stops ‘doing.’ In Shakespeare’s (2001) play ‘Macbeth,’ Macbeth encounters a moment where he realises he has gone so far down a path in his life, that turning back would take him as long as if he continued; “I am in blood Stepped in so far that, should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er.” (Shakespeare, 2001, p.87). This captures through drama the desperation and helplessness one can face when trying to decide what to do. Through poetry, Robert Frost’s (2010) ‘The Road Not Taken’ touches less on the desperation of decision-making, but rather the quiet acceptance of loss, when one road is chosen over another, and perhaps also the gain, in experiencing a road less travelled. While there may not be definitive agreement on these suggestions, they do speak to this question.


Revisited through Psychotherapy

It is evident through the study of philosophy and culture, that there have been many answers offered to this question. Despite the availability of answers, psychotherapy is often a space where the questions are more valuable than the answers. Mindfulness and Psychotherapy for example is a model which draws from the teachings of Eastern Philosophy, cultivating a space where curiosity can be supported (Pollak , Pedulla, & Siegal, 2014). Similarly, Existential Psychotherapy draws from Existential Philosophy, addressing the anxiety that freedom in decision-making can provoke (Moran, 2000; Cohn, 1997).


From early philosophy, eastern and western philosophies, to modern philosophies, the question ‘what am I supposed to do?’ is deeply rooted in philosophy. Through its linkages with philosophy, psychotherapy is similarly rooted in exploration. In this way, psychotherapy can offer a space where this question, ‘what am I supposed to do,’ can be explored, and where philosophical curiosity may lead to unexpected answers, or perhaps, to more valuable questions.


Biography: This post was created by Emma Coonan, Psychotherapist, and Psychotherapy Doctoral candidate at Dublin City University. Emma is an accredited Psychotherapist with IAHIP and ICP, Lectures in Psychotherapy, and is a qualified Adult Education Trainer. After leaving Coláiste Phobal Roscrea in Tipperary, where she is from, Emma studied English and Media in Maynooth University, before combining her psychotherapy training with experience in the corporate world. Emma has also trained as an Executive Coach. Emma focuses on applying psychotherapy practices for everyday living, through developing resilience, stress response, and mindfulness practice. Emma enjoys writing, and writes a monthly wellbeing column for The Midland Tribune.


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